hey y'all

i' kinda torn down cause i realised that my english is no good. i need to get to practice it a little more often. i'm seriously considering participating in a program by St Bedes summer school, in which i've frequented several summer courses over the past years, named 'discover london'. but only by summer 2010, cause for '09 i've already stuff packed my schedulle. today i met beyonce's dancers and band...they were all so fun and nice to me! but i honestly think it was cause i actually got stg to talk about while the other people waiting to see the wannabe-diva could only scream (and they didnt even spoke english...i was asked several times to translate their conversations...omg! guess my 2nd language skills are not that bad after all, are they? anyway...) and show how nervous they were for being partof that seldom oportunity of hangin out with those pretty normal people i say.... i found out that her main guitar player is from atlanta, ga, and she's quite funny indeed! started to pose for photos like she's totally crazy. met one of the suga mama's too...not as fat as she seems on stage, but still...and one of her stylists chatted quite a bit with me and laughed at some stupid stuff i was sayin about gettin some coffe at starbucks before makin my way to the queue outside the concert hall, and even replied to a plain 'my name is antonio' with a funny 'i can get that'..lol...he meant stg else i guess! ahahahah! not funny....ok, movin on...
we were nicknamed the crazy drivers by some guy from b's staff and we were told that she wouldnt leave the hotel till tomorrow but we decided to wait a bit, in vain, and then we left. bbq e andreia's tonight...i'm missin it, but it never minds cause tomorrow i'm having a blaaassst! (Shaki's waaaayyyy better, i'll keep sayin it on and on for the rest of my life cause i'm commited to the truth...believe me!)

ps - dreamed of beyonce last night...i was tellin her 'oh, i made a portuguese version of 'if i were a boy' and its called 'se eu fosse um boi' and she was lookin at me with the weirdest face on earth and then i explained it to her 'boi is like a male cow, you get that?' ahahah!

dot dot dot

Hay que hallar algo que hacer para que tu mente no sea tomada de asalto desde el alba hasta la puesta del sol, ademas que se empeore durante la noche y no te deje dormir. Y tiene que ser algo que traiga una semilla para que no caigas en la tentacion de la despreciar así que esteas harto. La aviacion a mi me ayuda muchisimo, y la aconsejo a todos, aunque no les guste al primer experimento, es frecuente que 'escarabajo' psicologico te tome la mente y los sentidos. Una solucion mas drastica? Salir de aqui, para el lugar mas lejos que te pase por la cabeza. Lejos y desprovisto de todo a lo que estas acostumbrado. Uno se puso un libro de auto-ayuda en la cabecera y dormio sobre el asunto hasta que amanezca y desperte con una idea al azar.

En la vida todo se pasa al azar. Y eso no me cae nada bien.

...

So young and naive of me to think he was from your past! Silly of me to dream of one day having your kids...love is so blind it feels right when it's wrong. It'll take me some time but I will move on. Cause more and more I realise that it's all about me and my hustlers and my divas and my people. And if it ain't a ring on the finger from the very beggining, I'll put my hand in your face and I'll say 'YOUR BAD! Oh oh oh!'

Banging head on wall

The male queer will grab! ahahhaha

The Soap Opera Continues...

...And its evolving to an extremely dangerous level of insanity. Feels like some sort of evil creature hadcuffed me with stainless steel shackles that won't be opened or broken for anything in this damn stupid world. And it wasn't just my hands...I'm trapped to some kind of cheap metaphor that keeps pounding my duff head. Cheesy, huh? Guess so...and particularly disturbing as it keeps me away from the real concerns of my everyday life.

Do you know how it feels to be unable to focus on something you really want to do, even if it's part of the most important goal you want to achieve in life, part of the enterprise needed to porsue your dreams? That's me right now. I'm unable to connect with every other form of life, human, dancer, vegetable and so on, besides that vicious feeling that bears a non-human form, but it isn't material as well. L O L (like 'Él Oh Él', seriously...). How come I've come to this? I really need to get things straight, to work this shit out...and it's now beginning to feel like a primary need, just like eating or sleeping...and by the way, that's what I'm gonna do now...sleep. Rush to my best very fast and furious, dive into the sheets and in about two hours I might be sleeping.

Shoot me. N-O-W! Vol.2

(I'm seriously beggining to thik I was born to suffer...and my alter-ego isn't Jose Seita like a big friend of mine suggested a while ago...it's in fact Jesus Christ...it can only be Jesus...my Mom's name is Maria and my father's Jose...can I recall any other major detail? Is it enough?)

I WISH I WAS SOMEBODY ELSE FOR MY ALTER-EGO'S SAKE!

Je suis a devenir fou. Et je peu escrire en français aussi. Surpreise!

Bienvenue à Suvarnabhumi!

0318 GMT

GMT stands for GGGRRRRRMMMMAAHAHHAHTTTT

Estoy enloqueciéndome. Jaja! Mi vida es como el cuento de gallo capón. Así como que por entero! Como que si alguien me lo calvó en la cabeza como si fuera un cucillo. O dos...aunque sepa muy bien lo que quiero decir no lo puedo. Lo poderia intentar a repelones, pero simplesmente no es posible transponerlo de la cabeza hasta las manos. Punto.

ESTOY OFICIALMENTE DE PELEA CON EL MUNDO!

GMT +3